||[Mar. 15th, 2004|06:13 pm]
In The Calm: A Marauder's Era RPG
Characters: James Potter and Lily Evans
Setting: Astronomy Tower
Summary: James seeks Lily out and they talk. There is also hugging involved and a chance taken.
Perched upon one of the windowsills, Lily was busying herself with some astronomy homework and found the Astronomy Tower a perfect place to without being disturbed. Scribbling away, she paused every now and then to glance out the window and back down to her parchment.
James sighed as he climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. He had been looking for Lily all over and had yet to find her. The last place he could think of to look was where he was headed now. Reaching the door, he quietly pushed it open and walked into the room. He couldn't help but spot Lily as she was the only one there. Not to mention his eyes just seemed drawn to her whenever she was around. "Hullo, Lily."
Glancing up from her parchment, she blinked and gave James a slight smile. She was quite surprised to see him in the tower. "Evening.." Turning back to her parchment, she crossed a T and dotted an I before nodding in satisfaction. "Did you need something?"
James shrugged his shoulders casually, walking closer to Lily. "Not really. I just... I thought maybe we could talk or something. I'll really try to keep my foot out of my mouth this time though. I promise."
"Oh.." Surely quite surprised, she rolled up her parchment and placed both the parchment and quill into her bag. Turning to face him, she smiled. "I'll try to keep my own out of mine as well."
"Well, at least we'll both be making an effort then," James said with a playful grin. "So... er... Are you excited about the trip to France?"
"Quite excited." Hopping down from the window sill, she smoothed her hands over her uniform skirt and leaned against it, smiling brightly. "It should prove to be quite the experience."
James smiled at her. "Well, that's good to hear. It should be interesting."
"Yes." She chuckled and crossed her arms, raising a brow. "Are you looking forward to going? You are going right?"
"Oh, yeah! I'm going," James replied, grinning at her. "I guess I'm looking forward to it... I mean, it does get me out of the school. But I'll definitely be keeping you and Remus around since you both seem to now some French."
"Well I hope that's not your only reason for wanting to go." She shook her head and grinned a bit. "And you know Remus and I will help you out."
"Well no... But that is a very good reason." He gave her an amused look and smiled. He shifted how he was standing slightly, running a hand through his hair. He had sought her out to talk and now he seemed to be at a loss of what to say.
Leaning forward a bit, she raised a brow. "Er...was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" She smiled.
"I... well... um... yes?" He grinned at her, blushing lightly at his own stuttering. What was his problem? He'd spoken with Lily loads of times. He'd even flirted with her. Now he couldn't even hold a simple conversation? There was absolutely no reason for him to fall apart.
"Well? What is it?" She raised a brow and grinned, leaning back against the window sill. She smiled softly, silently amused by the hint of blush.
"I.. er..." Again he blushed before shaking his head and taking in a breath, releasing it slowly. He continued to silently chastise himself. "How are you? I've been meaning to ask..."
Blinking, she glanced down and shrugged. "I'm doing quite good, actually, thanks. You?"
Frowning, James reached out and tilted her head up, searching her eyes. "Are you sure you are? Because I know that you tend to let things boil..."
Lily couldn't help but blush a bit, glancing at his hand and then up at him. "No really. I'm good. I've just been studying and trying to work things out with the whole Ethan MacMillan thing, but I promise I'm fine."
James smiled and nodded. The hand on her chin moved up and brushed along her cheek before he could stop himself. Though once he noticed, he pulled it back with an apologetic grin. "I'm glad to hear that. Well, that you are doing fine. Though whole Ethan deal... Well that's just a might odd that something like that happened here."
"Very odd indeed." She shrugged a bit and shivered a bit feeling his fingers against her cheek. Why? She never would have thought James.. she quickly pushed the thought from her head. "But.. er.. everything is quite good."
"Good, good. And as much as the idea of someone trying to figure this out icks me... Have you figured anything out?" he asked.
She sighed and shook her head. "Sadly, no. I wish I had though. I feel so useless.. I'm not cut out for this at all."
"Well you are trying, which is more then can be said for some. So that's good." He smiled encouragingly at her. "And hey! That's definitely more then I'm doing."
"I think I should just give it up, though. I'm trying to keep Remus up by letting him know that I'm really trying to help, but it's just...so useless." She frowned and sighed, shaking her head. "I know he's innocent."
James nodded his head, frowning. He didn't like the idea that anyone thought Remus would do anything like that. "Yeah, which is good of you because Remus is definitely innocent."
"So..." She glanced up at him and smiled a bit. "Enough of this sad stuff, right?"
"Most definitely," he replied with a grin. "Hmm... Something nice to talk about..."
"Yes...something nice is always good..."
"How was your weekend? Did you do anything enjoyable?" James asked, raising an eyebrow and hoping she'd done something beyond trying to figure out the Ethan mystery.
"Just some homework." She shrugged lightly and sat back on the windowsill once more.
"Lily, Lily, Lily." James shook his head in mock annoyance before grinning at her. "We've got to find you a new hobby or something... You've always got your lo... erm... face behind a book."
"My lo?" She blinked. "What's a lo? Slang for something?" She chuckled lightly and shook her head. "You guys and your slang."
"Oh... er... no. I was going to say something.. erm.. different and changed my mind." He grinned at her and ran a hand through his hair. He really had to wonder why he didn't just agree with her that it was slang...
"Something different? And just what would that be?" She raised a brow, crossing her arms. "I'm quite interested in knowing."
"Oh... um... er..." He quickly sealed his mouth shut and shook his head, blushing again. He definitely wasn't going to tell her what he was going to say. She didn't see him as anything other then a friend who was occasionally annoying.
"James..." She tilted her head to the side and placed her hand under his chin and tilted his face up a bit before letting her hand fall back to her side. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"
Well that had definitely made things worse rather quickly. He blushed brightly when she touched him like that before offering her a somewhat shaky smile. "I know that, Lily. Really. I do."
"Then tell me. I promise if it's bad, I won't get upset."
"I..." Taking in a deep breath, James let it slowly, looking at the wall next to them rather then at Lily. "I was going to say... er... that you were always hiding your... lovely... face behind a book."
Lily blinked and blushed bright red, sitting up straight. "O-Oh...er..." she blushed even more, if possible, and glanced down. "James.. I..."
James grinned and shook his head, holding up his hands to stop her from saying anything. "Exactly. Which is why I didn't say it and why I wasn't going to tell you."
"But...er...I'm not angry. Were you afraid I would be...angry?" She looked slightly confused, but smiled softly, glancing down with the same blush on her face.
James shrugged, watching Lily slightly worriedly. "I.. erm... kind of expected anger. Or disbelief. You tend not to believe me when I say things of that nature."
"...Are you being honest with me?" She finally looked back up at him, playing with a strand of red hair.
James nodded his head and swallowed nervously. "Lily... I'm always being serious with you when I say things like that."
She blinked at him, leering at him a bit. "...James are you trying to tell me something?"
"Maybe?" He grinned. Was he honestly going to just come out and say it instead of beating around the bush? Maybe not... "Um... But it's not that important, so yeah."
"Not that important?" She raised a brow and smirked. "Now I certainly don't believe you if you've been stuttering like you have."
"Just because I stuttered doesn't mean you shouldn't believe me," James replied, still not looking at her.
She huffed and hopped down from the windowsill, shaking her head. "I don't believe you, James."
James glanced quickly over at Lily before looking at the wall again. "Well... er.... There isn't anything saying you have to believe me."
She sighed and nodded, collecting her bag. "Er.. well was there anything else?"
Lifting a hand, he scratched the back of his head and sighed. He really had to wonder why it seemed as though his ever present Gryffindor courage had left him now. "I guess not."
She hesitated as she slid her bag over her shoulder. "...A-Alright then.." She paused and turned to head down the steps.
"I... er... Well...." He sighed again. "I was trying to tell you something... It just seems to be stuck."
She paused and glanced back at him over her shoulder. "Stuck? Why's that?"
"Nerves I guess," he replied. "I think I'm going to say it, then it just kind of... refuses to come out."
Slowly she blinked and turned, moving back over towards him. She frowned a bit and placed a hand on his arm. "What is it, James?"
James felt himself blush again before he shook his head and offered Lily a small smile. "It's.. um... er... Hard to say! Which would be why I haven't said it yet..."
"Is it something bad? Is that why it's so hard to say? It's certainly bothering you. I can tell and I would rather you tell me if it would make you feel better."
"It would definitely make me feel better..." He smirked at her. "Though it's not a bad something. Or at least, not to me. I just...can't it seems."
"You always tell me to never let anything build up and want me to tell you everything..." She frowned a bit more and took to her infamous windowsill, leaning against it, staring out the window intently. "But you won't tell me.."
"Yes, but you tend to keep in things that are hurting you. Or things that are making you angry. I don't hold emotions or thoughts like that in. I tend to let them out," James said.
"Aren't good things the very same then?" She glanced at his blurry reflection in the glass from the window from the corner of her eye.
Still quite red in the face about thinking about telling Lily, James shrugged. "Well... sort of..."
She smiled and glanced down. "You don't have to tell me. I understand. I don't want to push you into doing something you really don't want to. That's truly not fair to you."
"Well... My brain wants you to know, it just seems to be the rest of me that disagrees," James said with a grin.
Lily chuckled and shook her head, turning a bit and smiled at him. "You are so very charming, James. Quite funny as well. Are you sure this wasn't your secret ploy to keep me up in the Astronomy tower using your witty remarks?"
James laughed at that, grinning over at Lily. "Charming? Why thank you, dear Lily. Though I must admit that it was a mixture of trying to keep you here and tell you what it was that won't come out."
"I wish you would simply tell me then as I would be most interested in what you have to say."
"Ah, but you only say that now because you don't know what it is," James countered.
"Oh? How do you know unless you don't tell me?"
"Because this tends to follow the lines of other things you haven't believed that I've said to you," he said.
"Oh? Such as? Examples please?"
"Oh, you know... Like any time I might say or do anything that is remotely flirting," James replied with a small blush.
She blushed bright red and stared out the window. "...I thought...you were just...joking.."
"Well I wasn't," he said, glancing over at the girl. He felt he should say something else, but again he couldn't seem to get the words out.
She tucked some hair behind her ear and fidgeted a bit, unsure of what to say. "...But...all those times we...and the fighting...and...the detentions and...but...I'm a Prefect and..."
"Er... yeah... Well, you know boys... We can be a little immature. Picking on the girl we like tends to be a sign of affection rather then... erm... dislike.." He grinned sheepishly, pretty sure that he wasn't making much sense. "But as for you being a Prefect... er.. Well, I might razz you about it, but you did deserve it. And um... I'll just stop talking now."
"You know I wouldn't go easy on you despite feelings..." She grinned, glancing down at the stone sill, tracing her finger against the rough surface. She blushed a bit, not believing she said what she just had.
"I wouldn't dream of asking you to do something like that," he replied, smiling softly at Lily. Reaching out, he gently touched her cheek, tracing over it lightly. "Blushing.."
She grinned, glancing back at him over her shoulder. "Your hand is a bit cold..." She smiled sheepishly, glancing down, covering his hand with her own. "You promise this not some infamous James Potter charm to get out of something, right?"
"Sorry about that," James replied, smiling at her, his hand still stroking softly against her cheek. "I'm really only interested in one thing from you... And that's a chance. Nothing else."
"A chance can be a big thing you know.." She seemed a bit wary as the boy who had picked on her for so many years, the one she had kept out of trouble and reprimanded seemed to gentle and honest. "Are you really wanting to take such a chance?"
James nodded and drew his hand back, still smiling at Lily. "I know that it can. And I already know that I want to take it. That I have for quite a while now. The real question is whether or not you want too take the chance."
Lily smiled softly, turning around completely to face him. She was quiet for a moment or two, chewing against her lower lip as she always did when she was deep in thought. He was always so concerned about her despite the constant nagging and she always could confide in him. He did make her laugh even if she did it in secret. She glanced down and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I think...I think I'd like to take that chance too."
James about beamed at her when she said she would. "Really?" Leaning forward, he pulled her into a hug, holding her close. He couldn't remember being this happy in a while. "That's great!"
She stumbled a bit, certainly not expecting such a reaction. Chuckling, she gently wrapped her arms around him in return. Settled and quite content, she nestled her face against his chest, her head resting under his chin. Quite different from Severus embracing her, holding her. It was warm and inviting, something she could certainly get used to.
James stood there for a while, just enjoying holding Lily. He wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to do that, but he was rather glad that he had. It was nice. Peaceful. Rather calming actually. His nerves weren't rattled any longer and he wasn't nervous any longer. Of course, that could also be because he'd finally told her as well.
She never made a move to pull away despite the minutes ticking past. What time was it? She had lost all track of time and wasn't sure if it was past curfew or not. She sighed softly. "What time is it? We can't be out past curfew you know..."
Sighing quietly, he pulled up an arm behind them and glanced at his watch before glaring. "It's probably time to head back then so that we aren't out past curfew."
"We could, but I wouldn't want you to get scolded because of me. I would feel absolutely horrible." She leaned back slightly to glance up at him. "Besides, don't look so glum. We're going to the same place after all."
James chuckled, pulling her close for a moment longer before stepping back. "You have a very good point there, Lils. We are going to the same place."
She didn't pull away, but smiled, hugging herself tight against him with a faint blush. "It's not like I'm going off to Slytherin or something."
"No, you aren't. Which is definitely a good thing. I don't like the idea of you in Slytherin at all." He smiled down at her before stepping back again and taking her hand, squeezing it. "But we should head out now. So we aren't late getting back."
"I would never go over to them, silly. I.. almost wanted to, a while ago. But now I can't believe I would even think of something like that. I hope Godric can forgive me." She glanced down and sighed. "Not very Gryffindor-like of me.." She glanced down at their hands and held his tightly. "And yes, we should head back."
James smiled, starting to walk with Lily back towards Gryffindor Tower. "I think that at one point or another a lot of us think about finding our way to another house for one reason or another." He gave her hand a squeeze, enjoying walking with her. "Besides, you didn't and that is what matters."
"I don't think I could have, really. No...not after..." She paused, deciding not to go into the ordeal with Rabastan. "Well, like you said. It doesn't matter at all because I didn't go."
James frowned, looking worriedly over at Lily. He wasn't going to push it or question what she was going to say though. If she wanted him to know, she'd tell him. "Doesn't matter in the slightest." He grinned.
She chewed on her lower lip and sighed. "...Do you know of Rabastan Lestrange, James?" She flinched and frowned even more.
James nodded his head thoughtfully, still frowning. "Just... just what I've heard really. I tend to not make any sort of contact with him."
"I really thought, I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought he really cared about me; the he was trying to protect me from Severus and..." She sighed rather loudly, looking quite ashamed. "I'm ashamed of myself that I was so naive and let him do what he did. Drag me along and then dismiss me like some...servant." She frowned even more.
James nodded as he listened to what Lily had to say, his frown deepening. "That... Well, I'll not say what I was going to. You know just how well I like the Slytherins." He gave her a small grin before looking forward again. "But it wasn't a very nice thing for him to do to you."
"You don't think badly of me do you? I would understand if you did. Really I would." She looked up at him before glancing back down to the floor. "I would.."
Stopping, James turned to Lily, turning her so that she was facing him as he put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her. "Lily, I don't think badly of you for that." He moved a hand from her shoulder and tilted her head up, making eye contact. "You are a good person. Someone who tries to trust and believe in the innate good in people. There are always going to be those that try to exploit that. You aren't at fault for what he did."
She swallowed softly as she stared up at him. "..He called me a puppet; a toy for his game. That my use had run out seeing as he was of noble blood and I was nothing more than a mere...mu...a mud...well you know.."
"Oh Lily." James frowned sadly at her, pulling her into a hug again and just holding her. "You can't listen to him. He's just a self righteous bastard who thinks that if you aren't a pureblood then you aren't worth his time. I don't think that he'll ever change. But you can't let his foolishness get you down. You are worth so much."
It felt so good to get it out as no one had really listened to her and she hadn't told anyone about it for quite some time. She hugged him tight, her face buried in his shoulder. "Thank you, James. Thank you so much."
"Of course," he replied. Reaching up, he let a hand stroke gently through her hair, just holding her. He really didn't like that Rabastan Lestrange. But he'd deal with thoughts like that later. Right now he was just going to comfort Lily.
She sighed and glanced up at him with a slight smile. "..We're going to be cutting it close. We really should be getting back."
Nodding and smiling at Lily, he stepped back again, holding her hand once more as he walked towards the Tower. He only stopped again when they had reached the portrait. Uttering the password, they entered. "Well, home sweet home."
"Yes. So nice to be home, then." Stepping inside, she was pleased to see how quiet it was and how wonderfully the night was turning out to be. She had butterflies in her stomach and couldn't help but smile.
"Very much so," he replied with a smile, looking over to Lily. He was glad that he had finally told her. It was like it had lifted some sort of weight from his mind.
Shifting her bag on her shoulder, she cleared her throat. "Well.. um...I suppose I should be heading to bed. Getting rather late."
"Er... Yeah. We both probably should... So I'll... I'll see you tomorrow then." He smiled at her, not making a move to leave the common room just yet.
"Right. Yes. Um...see you tomorrow then." She hesitated for a moment, or two, perhaps three before slowly turning to head towards the stairs.
James nodded distractedly, watching her as she made her way from the room. He felt like calling her back, but he knew it was late and he didn't want to through her day off tomorrow for her by keeping her up too late.
She paused and turned, smiling down at him. "Aren't you going to bed too?"
James blinked a few times as it took a moment for her words to settle in. Blushing lightly, he smiled at her. "Oh, yes. I'm heading up in just a minute."
"Alright. Don't stay up too late." She smiled softly and turned before hurrying up to her room.